Day 19 : Need a direction

Siens! Its beginning of May already. Nothing gets better and i am not sure what my direction is now. Thank You for all who cares. Received a comment from Ming and it really makes me think. 🙂 I think i do not know what direction i m in or i want currently. You ask me what i want? i would say i want a lot of money. Hahaha.. True bah.. No money what also cannot do. Stop telling me those quotes like Money cant buy everything and bla bla bla. Without money, you cant do anything. Money cant buy happiness they said, but money can buy lotsa things that makes you happy. Wanted to say money cant buy friendship or love or care? Stop bullshiting because none of those is related to money. You can be sad or happy, you can be loved and cared or vise versa with or without money. So there is no significant relationship between that.

Money cant buy time. Why do you want to buy time? To regret or to scare you cant do this and that now? It all comes to money as well. Money can buy things or to make you accomplish whatever you want in the timing you want. So you don have to waste your time bah. True mou?

At my age now, money is everything. Because : If you have the money, you can pamper urself and ur papa mama who work hard to raise you up. Its time to pay back. Buy whatever they want, give the best you cant for them. No money you still need parents to feed you? Kesian right?

I admit i miss the old times.. the old lifestyle the old friends around me. Happy, innocent and stress free. Dont tell me bullshit like everyone have to move on and so on. I also know ma! Say everyone can say. Too mainstream. i am just telling you i miss the happy times last time, ok?!

But now i earn more than double my salary last time, more than 6 times my first salary.. So.. things changes also. I changed also. Change to a better or worse, it doesnt matter because i dont really care. I am being ignorant i know, so what, i CAN be ignorant because i do not need to put my effort in smiling and response to you which is not significant to me.

My life now is direction-less. My aim is only to earn money. Hahaha! until one day i find out what i really want or what i can really give up, maybe ill feel better. But for now, for the year 2012, the main thing i’ve learn in life is.. trust no one but your family and keren. Second thing is, friends are not what you think they are. Found out most of them seems very close to you but hiding a lot of things and still pretend they are not aware. Yes.. i keep on emphasize this because it still hurts me a lot. I cannot get over!!! argh!!! Friends, you really make me trust nobody! Roar!

*hug keren*

BIM is just around the corner. Haven been going to gym for almost 2 years di!! Whether i can do it or not… i am going to run run run, run away all the shits!