Siens! Its beginning of May already. Nothing gets better and i am not sure what my direction is now. Thank You for all who cares. Received a comment from Ming and it really makes me think. I think i do not know what direction i m in or i want currently. You ask me what i want? i would say i want a lot of money. Hahaha.. True bah.. No money what also cannot do. Stop telling me those quotes like Money cant buy everything and bla bla bla. Without money, you cant do anything. Money cant buy happiness they said, but money can buy lotsa things that makes you happy. Wanted to say money cant buy friendship or love or care? Stop bullshiting because none of those is related to money. You can be sad or happy, you can be loved and cared or vise versa with or without money. So there is no significant relationship between that.

Money cant buy time. Why do you want to buy time? To regret or to scare you cant do this and that now? It all comes to money as well. Money can buy things or to make you accomplish whatever you want in the timing you want. So you don have to waste your time bah. True mou?

At my age now, money is everything. Because : If you have the money, you can pamper urself and ur papa mama who work hard to raise you up. Its time to pay back. Buy whatever they want, give the best you cant for them. No money you still need parents to feed you? Kesian right?

I admit i miss the old times.. the old lifestyle the old friends around me. Happy, innocent and stress free. Dont tell me bullshit like everyone have to move on and so on. I also know ma! Say everyone can say. Too mainstream. i am just telling you i miss the happy times last time, ok?!

But now i earn more than double my salary last time, more than 6 times my first salary.. So.. things changes also. I changed also. Change to a better or worse, it doesnt matter because i dont really care. I am being ignorant i know, so what, i CAN be ignorant because i do not need to put my effort in smiling and response to you which is not significant to me.

My life now is direction-less. My aim is only to earn money. Hahaha! until one day i find out what i really want or what i can really give up, maybe ill feel better. But for now, for the year 2012, the main thing i’ve learn in life is.. trust no one but your family and keren. Second thing is, friends are not what you think they are. Found out most of them seems very close to you but hiding a lot of things and still pretend they are not aware. Yes.. i keep on emphasize this because it still hurts me a lot. I cannot get over!!! argh!!! Friends, you really make me trust nobody! Roar!

*hug keren*

BIM is just around the corner. Haven been going to gym for almost 2 years di!! Whether i can do it or not… i am going to run run run, run away all the shits!

Catching up with them bring back a lot of the best memories we had 2 years back. When they first came to Kuching as guest intructors for Body Combat. Where we had our first experience on Body Jam and Body Attack as well. Those were the lovely days. Unforgettable and always so crazy!

And our venue? Silhouette.. which closed down months after they left kuching as well two years ago.

2010. We then became a whole big family. Hang out everyday. Workout everyday and Get Crazy everyday after the workout.

2012. Two years later, Brian said he was disappointed when he dint see the old faces in gym anymore. Heart-felt as well because now everything is different already. Gym is full of new faces and packed everyday. Cant even work out now. But anyhow, we are still the lovely family that we used to be!

Brian & Menchu! Please come back more often!!!

We’ll bring you more kolo mee as you bring back so many laughters!! Love, xoxo

Hurt x 3

Starting to hide yourself in a different crowd that have no connection to your past. Feeling less embarrassed like that. Refused to go gatherings anyhow because you have no face to face all your close friends. Feeling insecure dont know actually how many of them knew about it and how they discuss behind. Unexpectedly, more than you have expected.

Heart died. Just.Like.That

Today, reflecting that i have not really pampered myself for a long time, i mean mentally… I decided to went for a hairdo and every thing that i can think at the moment.

Well, i have been sticking with my long hair for almost… forever di. A new reset life, a new image, new changes!!!

A 4 hour hair do…. I am happy with the result. At least i look different di.

Next, went on for a shopping. Spent RM 350 on 5 lovely outfit. Ok lar.. Kuching nothing to shop one bah… Wanted to go for manipedi but have no time for it.

So many paperwork needa do and tomorrow have to fly to KK for blitz. Haih!!! Flying again.. i hate packing.. i hate unpacking even more…. Guess i have to stick to this one for quite sometime.

I start picking up blogs to read again… like i used to do last time. I realized after all these while, reading blogs still a part of my life. I enjoy reading blogs. Click on all the familiar names and start picking up. Living in the blogosphere is still something i like.

Life is about discovering and learning things day by day. I guess i have to start figuring what i want/like in life. Let the pass flows and welcome to a new start of life

Hows your sunday people?

Today, after talking to a really heart to heart friend of mine, i convinced myself; What doesnt kill me will make me stronger. Guess i have to take up the advice and reset my life. Change the way i live and change the way i think and behave. Be positive.

Yes, i believe i can. I hope i can. I hope i can bury the little dark corner inside my heart. Its closed. Its no longer need to be refreshed.

I came out with a few silly theory of mine which i am going to follow from today onwards:

1) Trust no one but myself and my family

2) Open up my mind, forget the past and be positive

3) There’s only less than 5 sincere and honest friends around, i am going to treasure only those few.

4) Friends are not important to me, i do not want to commit.

5) I shall not put my heart in friendship. A few of them whom i really treasure broke my heart and make my trust on them as worthless as dust.

6) Improve on self presentation. Look more beautiful will boost up confidence.

7) Reset and start a new life tomorrow onwards.

I am going to live a different life starting tomorrow. I hope i can adapt to the new life. Leave the past aside, figure out what i really want and start going for it. For a little right step i took to achieve what i want, i reward myself.

I can make my life beautiful as well.

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Bibi (ahlun) just boarded. So emo to see him leave… so i stay in the room watching momok talk show when papa send him off to airport. kekekeke!! Safe Flight bibi… Shall see u soon ba.. when u come back and sign the thing. lalala!

This weekend had been a great one. Bibi came back and we had family outing whole weekend. Despite all the irritating calls from work, it had been a relaxing but fulfilling week. Oh Oh Oh.. finally can rest a bit…

Work had been just very stressed out especially these two months. For the month of April.. this is the only week ill be in Kuching i guess. Damn…! But hopefully the pay off is worth something.

Had been thinking lately how to actually divide and spend money the way it should be. I am starting to doubt that if i spend too much on vacations and travelling. Time to time i will take all the public holidays opportunity to exchange for a fly time. Hmmm.. time to really think and reflect on it. Maybe should reduce a bit.

Gain some weight and try to reduce some too. HoHoho.. Had been reducing the food intake lately. Will see how it goes then. Friendship had been just so so lately. Do not even have time to take my ass off my work… no time to bond with friends or even family but i just missed them a lot. Its good to hear from old caring friends sometimes. A call out of sudden and talk about crap is just nice. Haha…!! Just wanted to thankiuk this San la for cheering me up recently. kekekeke!!! So nice to hear from you la san la… i dont know how much i appreciated it.

Sunday is almost over.. Back to the reality again. HUHUHUHU!!!!! God Bless and Happy Easter People! *lotsa love*

p/s: Lotsa outstanding post… anyone kind enough to spare me photoshop software cracked? keke!

Dear You,

I specially wanted to say something to you. Not through phone calls, not face to face, not through whatsapp. Because, i know it is useless already. What should be say had been said. We used to be best buddy. I used to and always believed that the not-so-confident you will someday also had your love ones and live a happy life. I also believe this day, although you always say you are not pretty enough, you are not good in shape enough, you are too lack of confident, you are too so-not attractive. But in my heart, i always believe that one day when we all grow up, you will find someone you loved and who love you.

Things have change, it might be because of you, not so exposing to the world before. You, always hiding behind our group of friends, you, not exposing enough to have male friends. A year or two back, you connected to a bunch of homosexual friends, connecting more and more… more and more until now, you have neglected your own normal life and just follow others. I am not racist or bias to homosexual, i love them as well, but… i would really hope you can find yourselves and live your own life as well.

You have change totally after the new friends. You would ditch us easily and opt for them. At first, we are just jealous, jealous of you not loving us anymore and only prioritize them. You, starting to neglect all the ones who cared about you for the past few years. You starting to pick up unhealthy habits. Most of us, because of jealousy, we are unhappy. Unhappy that we are actually so not important to you. Certain things, no… A lot of things.. no.. EVERYTHING… everything that you used to get excuses to reject us, you did it voluntary for them. We are jealous. No doubt. But we knew they are no future for you. You deeply believe that one day, you will realize and come back to us.

Years, you are getting even worst. Have you ever realize you have no future continuing your life like this? You had fallen in love with a guy that you know there is zero possibilities of being together. You knew it, he knew it.. but you just LOVE to bury yourself in them… giving excuses that you will leave them soon but instead, going deeper. A lot of us tried to rescue you being continuing this useless lifestyle. How many times do we quarrel and argue over your future.. We were honestly so heartbroken when what we say and explain to you is for your own good but those homo friends of yours, they told you don worry, just follow your heart. Have fun and be happy. AND that you call them your best friend that understand you the most.

You have no idea how hurt is it. We started to give up on you. Painfully. Not because i dont love you, its because you ditch us in a category of friends who force you and make you stress. After so long we have known each other, all the things we said we thought you will understand its for your own good. But in the end what we got is a ditch and hatred. You choose to live the lifestyle of them. I wanted you to open your eyes, see and think properly. Look and compared. Comparison between people is a no good. But be realistic, this world is full of cruelty. Success and Failure. It is a big thing. Compared these groups of ladies (US) who you have been with for more than 10 years to those new friends of yours whom you had been with having lotsa fun for the past two years. We, the ladies had move forward, much more forward, we all improve ourselves, have a planned life, your payroll increases every year, brighter future ahead. I am not saying we are the best, but at least we improved year by year. You can just pick one and analyze. Like say Da jie, although she is not a degree holder, she is earning what she spend, enough savings to go travel and know what she have to spend with in her life. A stable career, a stable boyfriend. Marriage is ahead. CS, changing for a better job, secured income, aiming for her master in a year time. Loving boyfriend and well planned future. GB, no cert, nothing, but earning big money to feed herself and the family. Go around the world, a stable boyfriend and a bright future ahead. LM, graduated, looking for a job, knowing what she wanted to do and happy with her love live. NOW, compared to your new friends, 27 or 28 years old still working as a sales in a small shop. Greater of shock, 40 years ago who don even have a savings after so long of working. Dont even have RM200 in the bank. Most of it, enjoying their fantasy world. Honestly, they can do that, because that is what they want and they do not have anything to worry about. BUT YOU CANT. You compare yourself, what kind of life do you want to have. I am not looking down on them. They are good. But they are not suitable for you, if you keep complaining that you have no money and still not working hard for that.

If i asked you to take out RM 200 immediately now. You cant. Do you want to live your life like tat forever? I just want you to think properly. Be realistic and get back to the reality. I am nobody to say you, but at least i am proud to say i live a normal life and progressing.

Last week, after so many months not contacting. Your attitude towards us is getting worst. We are sad and disappointed but had slowly losing hope in you. We start to care less because you never appreciated. We do not want to yell at you or discuss with you about this anymore. Because everything we said, to you, is always bullshit and stress. What stress do you have actually? not enough money? You can have money, but you choose to forgo everything to stick with your lazy lifestyle. Don deny. You are always in denial. Always.

For the first time after what i see you have treated us, for the first time, i felt cold inside my heart. For the first time, i see no future in you. For the first time, i felt heartbroken why we are not important enough to change you. For the first time, i hope what i was thinking now would not came true.

When you are finally ready to face the reality, willingly or being forced, i hope we are still able and willing to be by your side. I hope that day came sooner, my friend. You deserve to have chosen a better life to live in.

Yours truly,

me.

Haven been blogging as usual this year… hmmm! January is almost over and yet i haven get to finish my year end evaluation and new year resolution. oh my oh my..

Has been busy for months and my stupid laptop jus died… so.. i cant do anything right now. efffing pisssed!!!!

i want to blog i want to blog i want to blog….. *emo*

Anyway.. ill catch up very soon!

Happy Dragon Year…. *rooooaaarr*

Me too… same as Rose… Finally can squuuuueeeeze in sometime to do something i like…. BLOG. This month has been a .. rough month…. although december is a Merry December, i had my lovely SG family trip that most of the time working still… my december is packed with work.. work work work, paperwork paperwork that almost killed me… and saddest of all… i haven got any Christmas presssie yet.

However, i am glad that i dint missed out this lovely invitation from Mike to the Christmas Dinner at The Raintree Restaurant, BCCK. It was right at the end of the BCCK hall. My first time to the Raintree Restaurant.. Rose and I were distracted by this super cute Rudolph…. the body look like turkey!! sooo cute!!!!!

Here we are : Raintreee Restaurant

It was Beautiful..

The setting was warm and comfortable.. romantic too if you were to bring your special ones to experience a different Christmas Dinner.

Christmas Feel is all around :):)

The Raintree Restaurant offers this 5 course meal prepared in French Classic Cooking Style with Japanese Presentation Skills. Unique huh!

So this is the appetizer,

Blinis Tower of Lobster Medallion, Smoked Salmon and Creme Fraiche, paired with Warm Ravioli of Duck Confit and Pumpkin Puree

The wonders of the Tower, bite in all down, from the mild sweetness of the fresh lobster together with the smoked salmon. nom nom nom* It is as good as it looks. <3

Secondly, we were served : Cream of Cauliflower with colourful peppers and crouton

I personally love cauliflower soup… topped with my fav peppers.. creamy but you can just continue to eat non stop… i almost grab the sample bowl of cauliflower soup but i controlllllllllllll

Thoughtful enough, we were served Palate Refresher…. to clear off all the yummylicious cauliflower soup in our palate to start off with our main course >:) Exotic Ginger-Lime Sorbet!! Wooots!! It is refreshing, just like a frozen ginger ale with a drop of squuuezed lime

To the mains :

Slow Baked Turkey Roulade with wild mushroom and truffle oil, served with sauteed brussels sprouts, caramelized chestnuts and cranberry sauce. According to the chef, it is preferable to served turkey roulade instead of the whole turkey for fine dining. Ladies who are craving for turkey during a appropriate date, you know where to go so that you can look good while eating turkey. hahahaha! u know what i mean!!!

If you are not a turkey person, you can opt for the second mains:

Slow Grilled Marinated Sirloin on Spicy Potato, wilted spinach with blue cheese, buttered carrot, brussels sprouts and beef jus. I know, it is sooo pinkish!!!! Not only pinkish, it is tender and juicy. together with the blue cheese in the wilted spinach, you know you had a different christmas dinner. Not to be forgotten, you can request your sirloin to be cooked according to your own liking.

Dessert time!!

Christmas pudding with Raspberry White Chocolate Parfait.

Everyone is soooo busy

Thick christmas pudding and semi frozen parfait. I just couldnt resist the raspberry parfait. it is just so good.

And of all the delicious food, special thanks to Chef Virginia Kedit.. and on the left side.. my long lossssssst koko.. alan leong. nom nom nom*

All the satisfied faces…

To avoid disappointment, it always better to make reservations especially on this special occasion. Call The Raintree Restaurant at 082-392988 between 11.00am to 10.00pm daily. This promotion is available for dinner on December 24, 2011 at the price of RM 125++ per person.

BTW… Tada.. i believed this will be the prettiest xmas deco in Kuching. Stay Tune!! Its only half way done when we were there and its already soo beautiful… i wanted to spend my Christmas there… how about u?

Merry Christmas to ALL!! Its a lovely month!

This year, Pullman Kuching is pleased to introduce the contemporary set menu dinner for Christmas and New Year Eve at the Peak, at the 22nd floor of Pullman Kuching enjoying the magnificent view of kuching sarawak with only RM 148++ per person.

The Peak, 22nd Floor, Executive Lounge.

Christmas… the day of joy.. munching all the xmas desserts and cakes…!!

Fruit tarts…

Xmas Macaroons

More macaroons.. its the trend now..

Xmas Cranberries Cake

Cookies..

Shoo cute.. am gonnnna eat u soon!

Cheesy yule log

Xmas Stollen..

other than desserts, they served appetizer tooo..

Salad… all the healthy greeeens

Meat Loaf

Prawn skewer in fruit sauce

Sashimiss

Fresh Oysters

I never knew what is that but its awesomely delicious

Cod Fish with citrus vinaigrette & onion relish

Oooh.. jacq is soooo serious with her cammmmeraaa..

And the Mains….. Top 3 for Xmas Dinner..

Turkey!!!!!!!

I had this whole plate of turkey…. and the stuffings is so good i cant even stop eating… nom nom nom*

Roasted NZ lamb leg…

Norwegian Salmon in sour crust casing

Lobsty

That two is not for nom nom*

And meet our main chef…..!

Our shared Portion for desserts..

Look at Jacq’s expresssion.. hohohohoho!!!!

Willie.. you can eat ur foood…. *seee sooo long geiiii*

Mama say don play with your fooooood!

We even have time to camwhore in the toilet..

muahahaha.. girls’ must do mar… roseeyyy

and its Christmas!!!!! Pullman Kuching set up for xmas treee.. its the same tree same decor but… new neighbour… “)

Merrry Christmasssssss Peooople.. I mean Next Month :)